Saturday, February 9, 2008

Cancer Sucks

On the non-sports, but very combative, side -

My wife's battle with cancer is really hard right now.

She doesn't seem to be able to get any decent rest and never has any energy. She is in constant pain. The meds keep it bearable, but it's still always there, and it just wears on you and keeps you down.

She had a decent week last week since she got to skip treatment the previous Friday. By Tuesday she was raring to go and spent the whole day out and about, then came home and cooked a big meal. It was nice to see a smile for a change. We actually went out a couple of times that week and did some shopping, errands, etc.

After Friday's treatment this week, though, she was already feeling bad that night.

I knew she was feeling the effects, because she wanted to talk about the business of dying. It's not a pretty business. She's worried about the bills that will be left behind, and whether I'll lose the house. The hospital doesn't seem to be forcing the issue now, but she has apparently heard somewhere that they will do so with me after she's gone. I just tell her that she's going to outlive me, so SHE has to deal with it, which she will be able to do given the size of my life insurance policy :)
She doesn't seem to buy it.
It's Sunday and we went to have brunch with an old friend today in Greensboro, about 30 minutes away. Afterward we had planned to go to the giant monthly flea market there. We haven't been in about a year and she often finds old jewelry and stuff she can use in her beading work. After brunch, though, she was already feeling tired and didn't want to spend the entrance fee knowing we would probably not be able to stay very long at all.
I know she has cancer, and would have it regardless of the shape of our health care system in this country. But it's a shame that humans, members of the human race, children of the same god, get access to the best care available only if they can afford it

Oh well, we just keep plugging along and deal with it as it comes up, whatever it may be.


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